The years were 2001-2004. I was attending Greenville College down in southern Illinois, about 30 minutes away from St. Louis. Greenville was a small town, it had a population of 7,000 people, that was including the college that had about a thousand kids and the federal prison. It was not the type of town I was used to, growing up in the suburbs of Chicago. It was my first time living on my own and it was going to be a great experience. I ended up meeting a lot of people but became great friends with 6 other guys who would end up being my roommates. The first year we all lived in separate dorms but hung out a lot, but the second and third year we had an apartment all to ourselves and created a lot of stories together. We lived in a place called the POD's. So people started calling us the POD boys.
This was no ordinary group of random guys just put together, we all had our role. We were all transfer students so we started school somewhere else before coming to Greenville. We all had very different backgrounds, for example, we had a missionary kid who grew up in Argentina and spoke fluent spanish. We had a Mexican/Spanish guy(me) and a Puerto Rican Pastor's kid who didn't speak a lick of spanish. We had a Korean kid who liked to point out our racism and gamble, we had a hick from the back woods of Virginia who thought he tough but had no muscle. We had a sports nut, and a guy who had the capability to make a bad first impression even though he was one of the nicest guys, he just liked to speak his mind. It being a small town and all we got bored a lot and would try to find creative things to do with our time. So this weeks blog is going to be entertaining and possibly a guide for you younger people with some of the things we came up with.
Most of us POD guys wanted to form something of a Fraternity but only with the fun stuff. So we decided to form what we called "the family". "The Family" was our secret group that would cause havoc on campus or try to get things stirring. For example, like a mob or mafia I thought it would be a good idea to have people in power in our back pockets. So, we decided to make friends with the President of the school and his wife. They were really cool people and would have us over for dinner once a semester so that we could fill him in on "The Family's" activities. See, if he knew about it there really wasn't much trouble we could get into if we got caught, but we never did so it was all good.
One rainy fall day, we decided the campus needed to be rocked with a scandal so we created one. In the middle of the night some of us guys went out with a screwdriver and flashlights and we hit up the freshman parking lot. What did we do you may ask? Well we went to all their cars and stole their license plates. That's dumb you say? You're dumb! Actually, how many of you could identify your license plates if they were stolen? I bet not many of you. It was a fun night of ducking security, making sure we didn't get caught. After stealing the license plates we put them all in a plastic garbage bag and left them on the steps of the chapel, which would be the center point of the most traffic the next morning. So, even though we stayed up till 4 in the morning we decided we would wake up at 8am for chapel, so we can see everyone's reaction. Ohhhh!! It was going to be sweet! We went to chapel and waited for the big announcement of all the licenses they found, and we kept waiting.....NOTHING. There was no announcement! We were so upset all that work for nothing...or so we thought.
Later that day, it being a Friday, people were getting ready to go home or out for the weekend and that is when they noticed...NO PLATES. A mass email was sent out, "HAS ANYONE SEEN THE FRESHMAN LICENSE PLATES?" Ohhhh yes, this was it! It turns out no one saw the big bag of license plates, so everyone is wondering where they at. Then an hour later, another email gets posted to everyone. "DID ANYONE SEE PEOPLE CARRYING A BIG GARBAGE BAG TO CHAPEL THIS MORNING?" HAHAHA, they think we are dumb enough to travel with the evidence in the daylight? Come on, give us some credit. Finally, another email was sent out, "IF YOU ARE MISSING YOUR LICENSE PLATE PLEASE BRING YOUR INSURANCE TO THE MAIN OFFICE TO CLAIM IT." It ended up being a great day. Everyone got the their plates back and we were the talk of the campus, the only people who knew was "the family". Eventually, at the end of the semester it was brought up again in the, "what funny things happened this year" video that the whole school got to watch.
Stories like this is what made my college years so much fun, and why I still have the great friends or "family" till this day. In upcoming episodes, I will tell you more fun stories about the college years. Like when we almost died in St. Louis or the time I got my hands on the master keys for the school. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The other side of the family tree
These Wednesdays seem to always sneak up on me. Time really does fly the older you get. So two weeks ago I wrote about my Dad's side of the family, who I actually went to visit this weekend in Memphis. It was a lot of fun and as always I ate my brains out. So this week we dive into the other side of the family tree which is my Mom's side, for those of you not paying attention.
So, my Mom's side of the family is on the other end of the spectrum. Which is great for me. My Dad's side of the family more on the strict/southern Baptist side of things, my Mom's side....not so much. Which in turn, made me a perfect in the middle type of person. So, thanks to both sides for making me perfect.
What to say about that side of the family, I will say this, it is never boring. My mom grew up with three sisters and one brother. Her oldest sister and brother where like 15 years older than her and her other two sisters so it was almost like two sets of families. Needless to say, I didn't spend a lot of time with the older siblings. However, her brother, my Uncle Kenny is a character who needs a blog or show of his own. My uncle Kenny and his wife back in the day who's name was Elane or Lane or something(like I said I didn't see them often). Anyway, they didn't mind helping themselves to a drink or two at the family functions they came to, especially Elane. Lets go back to Christmas day about 16 years ago. Elane and Kenny came to our Christmas we had every year at my Grandparent's house. They had a few drinks and Elane had a little more than the rest, Elane being a hair stylists of sorts, decided that she wanted to give my 6 year old brother a haircut. My brother didn't take kindly to this so he decided to avoid her. Now, it wasn't a big house so he didn't have to many places to hide. So, minutes later she caught up to him and then pursued a cat and mouse chase around the house between my 45 year old Aunt and my 6 year old brother. OH, and did I mention that my Aunt was holding scissors! HAHA, it was very funny watching my brother run from a bowl cut from my drunk Aunt. Meanwhile, in the TV room my uncle who at the time was heavyset and had a cane would be changing the channel from A Christmas Story the movie and the swimsuit competition they had on. Why was he switching the channels? Well, my mom would come into the room and yell "Kenny, turn that off. The kids don't need to see half naked girls!". So my uncle would change the channel until she left, then the swimsuit competition came back on, and when he really liked a girl he would twirl his cane in the air and scream WOOHOO! Those were the good ol' days.
My Mother has two sister who are close to her age. One of them is great and who we have fun with at most holidays. Her and my Uncle welcome us in with great food and fun. The other sister I don't see anymore. My Grandparents on that side of the family have passed on. They were great though. My grandma, was a smoker and in her cigarette case would always have some smokes and gum. The first thing we would do when we walked in the house to visit her would be give her a kiss and ask for some gum. Oh and her pantry was always stocked with pop, chips, and spaghetti-o's. Later in her life she had trouble walking so I never really had her cooking, but the second best was the junk food pantry. She always had great stories that she would tell us and she LOVED Macgyver! She was kind of like the oracle in the movie The Matrix. She was a wise grandma. She died when I was 14 but I would like to say that if she lived longer that she would have been one of the people in my life who I could go to about things in life and get her advice. You know stuff that I couldn't tell my parents but would like some advice from an experienced adult. I do miss my Grandma a lot, she was great. My Grandpa was on the quieter side and worked a lot so, a lot of my memories of him aren't really funny. He kept to himself in his office with his Jazz records and war stories. He was a good man who had a lot of stories that he could tell you. Like the time he was in WWII in a medical tent when that tent got blown up and blew him in the air and he lived to tell the story. Good Stuff.
I am sure that I will have many blogs about stories from this side of the family. Trust me there are many more where that came from.
So, my Mom's side of the family is on the other end of the spectrum. Which is great for me. My Dad's side of the family more on the strict/southern Baptist side of things, my Mom's side....not so much. Which in turn, made me a perfect in the middle type of person. So, thanks to both sides for making me perfect.
What to say about that side of the family, I will say this, it is never boring. My mom grew up with three sisters and one brother. Her oldest sister and brother where like 15 years older than her and her other two sisters so it was almost like two sets of families. Needless to say, I didn't spend a lot of time with the older siblings. However, her brother, my Uncle Kenny is a character who needs a blog or show of his own. My uncle Kenny and his wife back in the day who's name was Elane or Lane or something(like I said I didn't see them often). Anyway, they didn't mind helping themselves to a drink or two at the family functions they came to, especially Elane. Lets go back to Christmas day about 16 years ago. Elane and Kenny came to our Christmas we had every year at my Grandparent's house. They had a few drinks and Elane had a little more than the rest, Elane being a hair stylists of sorts, decided that she wanted to give my 6 year old brother a haircut. My brother didn't take kindly to this so he decided to avoid her. Now, it wasn't a big house so he didn't have to many places to hide. So, minutes later she caught up to him and then pursued a cat and mouse chase around the house between my 45 year old Aunt and my 6 year old brother. OH, and did I mention that my Aunt was holding scissors! HAHA, it was very funny watching my brother run from a bowl cut from my drunk Aunt. Meanwhile, in the TV room my uncle who at the time was heavyset and had a cane would be changing the channel from A Christmas Story the movie and the swimsuit competition they had on. Why was he switching the channels? Well, my mom would come into the room and yell "Kenny, turn that off. The kids don't need to see half naked girls!". So my uncle would change the channel until she left, then the swimsuit competition came back on, and when he really liked a girl he would twirl his cane in the air and scream WOOHOO! Those were the good ol' days.
My Mother has two sister who are close to her age. One of them is great and who we have fun with at most holidays. Her and my Uncle welcome us in with great food and fun. The other sister I don't see anymore. My Grandparents on that side of the family have passed on. They were great though. My grandma, was a smoker and in her cigarette case would always have some smokes and gum. The first thing we would do when we walked in the house to visit her would be give her a kiss and ask for some gum. Oh and her pantry was always stocked with pop, chips, and spaghetti-o's. Later in her life she had trouble walking so I never really had her cooking, but the second best was the junk food pantry. She always had great stories that she would tell us and she LOVED Macgyver! She was kind of like the oracle in the movie The Matrix. She was a wise grandma. She died when I was 14 but I would like to say that if she lived longer that she would have been one of the people in my life who I could go to about things in life and get her advice. You know stuff that I couldn't tell my parents but would like some advice from an experienced adult. I do miss my Grandma a lot, she was great. My Grandpa was on the quieter side and worked a lot so, a lot of my memories of him aren't really funny. He kept to himself in his office with his Jazz records and war stories. He was a good man who had a lot of stories that he could tell you. Like the time he was in WWII in a medical tent when that tent got blown up and blew him in the air and he lived to tell the story. Good Stuff.
I am sure that I will have many blogs about stories from this side of the family. Trust me there are many more where that came from.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Crazy Gene Updated
Apparently, my first draft didn't meet my approval of the boss/wife. So there are some changes. For those of you that saw the first draft, congratulations, maybe it will come up again in blooper real.
I have decided to change up the schedule this week and instead of talking about the other side of my family(my mom's side), we will save that until next week and instead will be unsupervised and be talking about women! Usually, I have Jeanine(my wife) read the blogs before I post them, because I tend to be mean and sarcastic sometimes, but today we are unsupervised so I hope this goes well.
I am going to give all of you the secret to woman, so I will give you a minute to go get a pen and paper.
......................................
OK, so after many years of women in my life, my Mom, Mother-n-law,Grandmas, Aunts, friends, girlfriends, and girls I have come in contact with, I have found one thing to be true. You ready? All woman are NUTS! Now, before you get all sensitive let me say this. It's OK, because I have found the formula. You see I believe that women start off normal until they hit the age 23ish, at that point in time the crazy gene kicks in and that gene becomes more dominant the older a woman gets. Now, if you're a guy and you think there is no hope, do not despair, because there is hope. This crazy gene gets less dominant when the woman hits her 50's. You might be asking yourself, what do I do during the reign of the crazy gene? You just have to know how to play the game and deal with it, because the crazy woman in our life keep us men sane. I know, its a crazy, messed up concept but it is true. There might be times when we as men feel like we are going crazy because of the woman, but its just their crazy gene effecting us, so don't worry. Now, some of you women might be cursing at me or agreeing with me, either way, I'm right so get over it. To prove it I am going to give you some examples from my own life.
My beautiful wife just celebrated her 29th birthday and you know what that means. Yep, she is well into the crazy gene being a dominant part of our life. Just last week we were at dinner with her parents, and we were talking about her brothers honeymoon, and that they have decides to go to Las Vegas(nice!). I happen to be Dj'ing the wedding. During this conversation about the honeymoon, my wife tells her parents that since I am the DJ I feel that I should get a free ticket to Las Vegas as well....."WHAT?.......When did I say this?", I ask. She replies, "You didn't, but it sounded like something you would say." Are you as confused as I was? My wife is going around giving people messages from me, but it is only what she thinks I would say. Now, you might think this is funny and I might have overreacted,and I would agree, if this was the first time, but it is not. She has a habit of telling people and mostly her parents things that I might say, and even sometimes she tells the jokes that I might say about people in private(behind their backs) but she thinks it is funny enough to share with the world.....Crazy gene thank you so much for that. Even though she dirves me nuts sometimes/today she is still the love of my life and the mother of my child and we have fun during snuggle time, yes that's right, snuggle time. I am man enough to admit we have a nightly meeting in bed called snuggle time. If you have a problem with that I am man enought to kick your butt too.
My wife, as great as she is, does do the typical "crazy gene" greatest hits that other women do that you might be familiar with.
-I'm mad at you for what you did in my dream
-You should know what I am thinking
-Don't fart and pull the covers over my head
Things of that nature that we can all relate to as men or you women might recognize those as well.
Now, let me give you a story of a woman who is coming out of the dominant crazy gene period of her life. My mother-n-law is in her mid 50's and believe me when I first came around the crazy gene was in full effect. As she gets older and we hang out more, she is taking control and the crazy gene is becoming less and less dominant. For example, at that same dinner where Jeanine decided to play ventriloquist, Vicki (the in law), who is a teacher, decided to tell us about the NO GRINDING policy that the school is putting into action for the homecoming dance. For those of you that do not know what grinding is, then I say, Grandma I will tell you later. As she began to explain the video, she was very funny in her description. I thought to myself......AWESOME! I never in a million years thought I would be having this conversation with my mother-in-law. Oh man, it brings a smile to my face just reliving it in my head. So she is moving up the list in my book.
So men out there, I want you to go give your wife, girlfriend, or mom a hug and just tell them to hold on and we will get through this period of life together. If you have a teenage daughter prepare her for what is going to happen to her. The crazy gene gives us a test run with teenage hormones, but that is just the beginning. I hope this helps all of you confused souls out there. Until next week, have a great weekend!
I have decided to change up the schedule this week and instead of talking about the other side of my family(my mom's side), we will save that until next week and instead will be unsupervised and be talking about women! Usually, I have Jeanine(my wife) read the blogs before I post them, because I tend to be mean and sarcastic sometimes, but today we are unsupervised so I hope this goes well.
I am going to give all of you the secret to woman, so I will give you a minute to go get a pen and paper.
......................................
OK, so after many years of women in my life, my Mom, Mother-n-law,Grandmas, Aunts, friends, girlfriends, and girls I have come in contact with, I have found one thing to be true. You ready? All woman are NUTS! Now, before you get all sensitive let me say this. It's OK, because I have found the formula. You see I believe that women start off normal until they hit the age 23ish, at that point in time the crazy gene kicks in and that gene becomes more dominant the older a woman gets. Now, if you're a guy and you think there is no hope, do not despair, because there is hope. This crazy gene gets less dominant when the woman hits her 50's. You might be asking yourself, what do I do during the reign of the crazy gene? You just have to know how to play the game and deal with it, because the crazy woman in our life keep us men sane. I know, its a crazy, messed up concept but it is true. There might be times when we as men feel like we are going crazy because of the woman, but its just their crazy gene effecting us, so don't worry. Now, some of you women might be cursing at me or agreeing with me, either way, I'm right so get over it. To prove it I am going to give you some examples from my own life.
My beautiful wife just celebrated her 29th birthday and you know what that means. Yep, she is well into the crazy gene being a dominant part of our life. Just last week we were at dinner with her parents, and we were talking about her brothers honeymoon, and that they have decides to go to Las Vegas(nice!). I happen to be Dj'ing the wedding. During this conversation about the honeymoon, my wife tells her parents that since I am the DJ I feel that I should get a free ticket to Las Vegas as well....."WHAT?.......When did I say this?", I ask. She replies, "You didn't, but it sounded like something you would say." Are you as confused as I was? My wife is going around giving people messages from me, but it is only what she thinks I would say. Now, you might think this is funny and I might have overreacted,and I would agree, if this was the first time, but it is not. She has a habit of telling people and mostly her parents things that I might say, and even sometimes she tells the jokes that I might say about people in private(behind their backs) but she thinks it is funny enough to share with the world.....Crazy gene thank you so much for that. Even though she dirves me nuts sometimes/today she is still the love of my life and the mother of my child and we have fun during snuggle time, yes that's right, snuggle time. I am man enough to admit we have a nightly meeting in bed called snuggle time. If you have a problem with that I am man enought to kick your butt too.
My wife, as great as she is, does do the typical "crazy gene" greatest hits that other women do that you might be familiar with.
-I'm mad at you for what you did in my dream
-You should know what I am thinking
-Don't fart and pull the covers over my head
Things of that nature that we can all relate to as men or you women might recognize those as well.
Now, let me give you a story of a woman who is coming out of the dominant crazy gene period of her life. My mother-n-law is in her mid 50's and believe me when I first came around the crazy gene was in full effect. As she gets older and we hang out more, she is taking control and the crazy gene is becoming less and less dominant. For example, at that same dinner where Jeanine decided to play ventriloquist, Vicki (the in law), who is a teacher, decided to tell us about the NO GRINDING policy that the school is putting into action for the homecoming dance. For those of you that do not know what grinding is, then I say, Grandma I will tell you later. As she began to explain the video, she was very funny in her description. I thought to myself......AWESOME! I never in a million years thought I would be having this conversation with my mother-in-law. Oh man, it brings a smile to my face just reliving it in my head. So she is moving up the list in my book.
So men out there, I want you to go give your wife, girlfriend, or mom a hug and just tell them to hold on and we will get through this period of life together. If you have a teenage daughter prepare her for what is going to happen to her. The crazy gene gives us a test run with teenage hormones, but that is just the beginning. I hope this helps all of you confused souls out there. Until next week, have a great weekend!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Half of me!
So now that all my immediate family has had a week dedicated to how crazy/special they are. It is time for me to dive into why? After doing research on family and why they act crazy and when I say research I mean watching Everybody Loves Raymond or King of Queens. I have come to realize that every family is crazy. Now, some families are more crazy than others but hopefully they have enough love to offset the craziness. It can be hard at times to have enough love because the crazy comes at you full force but it is the only way to get through it.
So, as most families I have a Mother and a Father and they both have families as well so there are two branches to this fun and crazy family tree. Both of these sides had a key part in the awesomeness which is ME. Today we will climb to the branch of my Fathers side.
Now before we dive into this let me say one thing. I love my Grandma.
So, my Dad's side of the family. He is 100% Mexican/Spanish as I told you last week and people of the Latin decent tend to be very passionate/loud about things. One of those passions is our food. I love the food I get when we go to Grandma's house. Authentic mexican food is pretty awesome. My Grandma is your typical Grandma, and by that I mean she will feed you until you explode. Which, is fine with me.
My Grandma grew up in a strict Pastor's home and brought those morals and rules to her family as well. When I was a kid we knew to respect my grandparents or else you would get smacked with a shoe. My grandparents had the room that no one could go into unless the President of the United States happened to drop by. Although, after many years that rule went away and we could hang out on those plastic covered couches. My uncles is also a Pastor and ran a pretty tight ship at his house. All of his kids are musical prodigies. Growing up they spent a lot of hours practicing because they had no TV, which was ok by them. Although, being a child of cable, it was a little weird for me. The funny part is if you got my cousins in the same room as a TV it was like an alien took over their body because they went comatose. You could not get any sign of life from them because they were sucked into TV Land. Apparently, not watching TV gets rid of the sarcasm jean and replaces it with the nice jean cause they are all pretty cool. Even though some of them get a little cocky and try and take my number 1 spot.
My oldest Aunt who has lived in Ohio since I can remember with her husband and two kids have their share of stories as well. When we were kids we used to go on vacations with them and my cousin Joey, wasn't always on his best behavior. To deal with him sometimes my Aunt and Uncle had this counting system, it was very exciting, cause when they got to the number 3. KAPOW! Now, you may be thinking to yourself a lot of parents count to 3 before they discipline their child. I agree, but this counting system lasted for 24 hours. If you were told one you were stuck on one and only had two more chances to screw up for the rest of the day. My grandpa, will probably deny this, but we used to place bets on what time the number three would pop up. It was good times. My cousin Joey is better now, he is a cool guy who knows everything about sports. My other cousin Missy is a Marine.
My youngest Aunt was like 14 or something when I was born so she was always the one who babysat me and my siblings. We formed a bond with he at an early age. I am sure we have a ton of stories about her babysitting, but we will save that for another time. As we all grew older she became a wife and a mother and started having "rules" of her own for her kids but I will always remember her as the 20 something babysitter who would hit parked cars and listen to the Phantom of the Opera until I wanted to kill myself.
Then we get to my Grandpa. What can I say about this guy! Well, besides my grandma I have most of my memories from him. As a kid, I would go over there on most Saturdays to help him, mow the lawn, build something, or do other forms of yard work. Now, you might be thinking it was slave labor, but you would be wrong because I would get meatball sandwiches at the end. You also might think that after spending most of those Saturdays helping him that I am quite the handy man.....WRONG...I tend to go to my own world when someone is teaching me something. I did however learn my fair share of Old Songs or songs that the slaves used to sing back in the day. Seriously, that wasn't a joke. My grandpa used to sing the greats like.
"My Momma don't tell me"
"Oh Danny Boy"
"Baby Got Back"
All sang by my Grandpa as we worked. My grandparents also took me on trips with them and we would stay in motels with 2 beds. One for me and one for them but late at night my Grandpa would take advantage of the free cable, you know, HBO. So most of this nights were spent with them watching TV and my Grandma holding a pillow over my face, so I couldn't see whatever it was they were watching. Awkward!
Lot of good memories with them, alot of craziness, but more love. Like I said love will equal it out. Maybe next time I will tell you about the time I beat up some kid who was picking on my cousin.
So, as most families I have a Mother and a Father and they both have families as well so there are two branches to this fun and crazy family tree. Both of these sides had a key part in the awesomeness which is ME. Today we will climb to the branch of my Fathers side.
Now before we dive into this let me say one thing. I love my Grandma.
So, my Dad's side of the family. He is 100% Mexican/Spanish as I told you last week and people of the Latin decent tend to be very passionate/loud about things. One of those passions is our food. I love the food I get when we go to Grandma's house. Authentic mexican food is pretty awesome. My Grandma is your typical Grandma, and by that I mean she will feed you until you explode. Which, is fine with me.
My Grandma grew up in a strict Pastor's home and brought those morals and rules to her family as well. When I was a kid we knew to respect my grandparents or else you would get smacked with a shoe. My grandparents had the room that no one could go into unless the President of the United States happened to drop by. Although, after many years that rule went away and we could hang out on those plastic covered couches. My uncles is also a Pastor and ran a pretty tight ship at his house. All of his kids are musical prodigies. Growing up they spent a lot of hours practicing because they had no TV, which was ok by them. Although, being a child of cable, it was a little weird for me. The funny part is if you got my cousins in the same room as a TV it was like an alien took over their body because they went comatose. You could not get any sign of life from them because they were sucked into TV Land. Apparently, not watching TV gets rid of the sarcasm jean and replaces it with the nice jean cause they are all pretty cool. Even though some of them get a little cocky and try and take my number 1 spot.
My oldest Aunt who has lived in Ohio since I can remember with her husband and two kids have their share of stories as well. When we were kids we used to go on vacations with them and my cousin Joey, wasn't always on his best behavior. To deal with him sometimes my Aunt and Uncle had this counting system, it was very exciting, cause when they got to the number 3. KAPOW! Now, you may be thinking to yourself a lot of parents count to 3 before they discipline their child. I agree, but this counting system lasted for 24 hours. If you were told one you were stuck on one and only had two more chances to screw up for the rest of the day. My grandpa, will probably deny this, but we used to place bets on what time the number three would pop up. It was good times. My cousin Joey is better now, he is a cool guy who knows everything about sports. My other cousin Missy is a Marine.
My youngest Aunt was like 14 or something when I was born so she was always the one who babysat me and my siblings. We formed a bond with he at an early age. I am sure we have a ton of stories about her babysitting, but we will save that for another time. As we all grew older she became a wife and a mother and started having "rules" of her own for her kids but I will always remember her as the 20 something babysitter who would hit parked cars and listen to the Phantom of the Opera until I wanted to kill myself.
Then we get to my Grandpa. What can I say about this guy! Well, besides my grandma I have most of my memories from him. As a kid, I would go over there on most Saturdays to help him, mow the lawn, build something, or do other forms of yard work. Now, you might be thinking it was slave labor, but you would be wrong because I would get meatball sandwiches at the end. You also might think that after spending most of those Saturdays helping him that I am quite the handy man.....WRONG...I tend to go to my own world when someone is teaching me something. I did however learn my fair share of Old Songs or songs that the slaves used to sing back in the day. Seriously, that wasn't a joke. My grandpa used to sing the greats like.
"My Momma don't tell me"
"Oh Danny Boy"
"Baby Got Back"
All sang by my Grandpa as we worked. My grandparents also took me on trips with them and we would stay in motels with 2 beds. One for me and one for them but late at night my Grandpa would take advantage of the free cable, you know, HBO. So most of this nights were spent with them watching TV and my Grandma holding a pillow over my face, so I couldn't see whatever it was they were watching. Awkward!
Lot of good memories with them, alot of craziness, but more love. Like I said love will equal it out. Maybe next time I will tell you about the time I beat up some kid who was picking on my cousin.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
My Pops
For the final member of my immediate family we come to the anticipated story of my father. First, before we get into this I feel it important that we get a visual of my father's facial expressions as he reads this blog. Now, keep in mind he has no idea what is going to be written about him, but my father doesn't like not knowing what is going to be said about him so his facial expression will be this. The only thing you have to concentrate on is is eyes and eyebrows. I guarantee that while reading this he has his left eyebrow lifted up and his right eyebrow scouring down in a "you better be careful what you say look". Can you picture it? Well, this look is a famous one in our family and has been for many generations. I remember as a kid that you did not want to get that look because it meant you were tailing the line of trouble. Now, if you got the eyebrow look along with the c tightened lips than you better run. The eyebrow, however, has been passed down from generation to generation. My aunts and uncles use it, my grandma uses it, and I am sure her parents and grandparents used it as well. I remember as kid, I could not get my eyebrow to raise up like that without both of them raising. So what did I do? I spent most of my time in class training my eyebrow to raise on its own. Yes, my grades did suffer because of this but it was worth it.
My Pop is a great guy. He cares most in this world about his kids and luckily for me he will do a lot for us. He tends to come in handy, especially on the technology side of things. However, sometimes this love for his kids sometimes came to bite him in the butt. Let me share a story of how we used my father our own personal punching bag as kids.
Now, in order for this to make sense I have to explain how in the world kids could use there father as a punching bag. Wasn't he bigger than you? Yes, he was, but only until we hit about 13. My Dad is 100% Mexican/Spanish whatever you want to call it and 28 years ago when I was born, boy, was he big and MEXICAN. I look at pictures from back when I was a baby and look at my Dad and wonder how long it took him to hop that fence, or swim across that ocean. Now, before you get all huffy puffy I'm also Mexican so I can make racial comments. However, the older he gets the whiter he gets its actually quite amazing, but also with age he shrinks. So, this allowed us to beat on him. So as kids we didn't understand the term "too far" so someone would end up getting hurt. One sunny day my pop asked me to take out the garbage, so instead of doing it right away I decided I will go behind him and give him a great big bear hug for allowing me to take out the garbage. As I am bear hugging him I get really excited to take out the garbage so I decide lets lift him in the air so he understands my excitement for this trip with the garbage cans. Now, I have good jeans which makes me super strong kind of like a super hero, so as I lift my pop into the air and squeeze there might have been a couple ribs cracking. I heard a big loud pop and watch as my pop(haha) falls to the ground in pain. "Whoops, I'm going to go take out the garbage now!". It turns out I broke one of his ribs. It also turns out that maybe 5 years later my younger brother Ruben will do the same thing. It was an accident so don't make him out to be the martyr just yet he did get us back, but not in the way you would think.
A couple years pass by this breaking the ribs incident and I am coming of age, so what does every son look forward to with his father.....THE SEX TALK! Oh yes, now, I don't know if my brothers had the pleasure of going through this talk with my father, but let me tell you, revenge is best served cold and he knew that. Now, I am not going to go into detail on what he said, I am sure you can all use your imaginations but lets just say as uncomfortable as he seemed to be with it all he probably went out of his way to make it more uncomfortable. Word of advice to all you fathers and future fathers. When talking to your sons about sex, please do not use slang words or use hand motions, it will scar you kid for life.
Like I said my Pops is a great and funny guy and can take a joke most of the time( Que raised eyebrow), because when my brothers and sister get together with him he is usually at the butt end of our jokes. Why? because we love him.
So next week I haven't decided if I will move on to extended families as a whole because let me tell you, both sides have some great stories on their craziness, or if I should tell some good stories. See you then.
My Pop is a great guy. He cares most in this world about his kids and luckily for me he will do a lot for us. He tends to come in handy, especially on the technology side of things. However, sometimes this love for his kids sometimes came to bite him in the butt. Let me share a story of how we used my father our own personal punching bag as kids.
Now, in order for this to make sense I have to explain how in the world kids could use there father as a punching bag. Wasn't he bigger than you? Yes, he was, but only until we hit about 13. My Dad is 100% Mexican/Spanish whatever you want to call it and 28 years ago when I was born, boy, was he big and MEXICAN. I look at pictures from back when I was a baby and look at my Dad and wonder how long it took him to hop that fence, or swim across that ocean. Now, before you get all huffy puffy I'm also Mexican so I can make racial comments. However, the older he gets the whiter he gets its actually quite amazing, but also with age he shrinks. So, this allowed us to beat on him. So as kids we didn't understand the term "too far" so someone would end up getting hurt. One sunny day my pop asked me to take out the garbage, so instead of doing it right away I decided I will go behind him and give him a great big bear hug for allowing me to take out the garbage. As I am bear hugging him I get really excited to take out the garbage so I decide lets lift him in the air so he understands my excitement for this trip with the garbage cans. Now, I have good jeans which makes me super strong kind of like a super hero, so as I lift my pop into the air and squeeze there might have been a couple ribs cracking. I heard a big loud pop and watch as my pop(haha) falls to the ground in pain. "Whoops, I'm going to go take out the garbage now!". It turns out I broke one of his ribs. It also turns out that maybe 5 years later my younger brother Ruben will do the same thing. It was an accident so don't make him out to be the martyr just yet he did get us back, but not in the way you would think.
A couple years pass by this breaking the ribs incident and I am coming of age, so what does every son look forward to with his father.....THE SEX TALK! Oh yes, now, I don't know if my brothers had the pleasure of going through this talk with my father, but let me tell you, revenge is best served cold and he knew that. Now, I am not going to go into detail on what he said, I am sure you can all use your imaginations but lets just say as uncomfortable as he seemed to be with it all he probably went out of his way to make it more uncomfortable. Word of advice to all you fathers and future fathers. When talking to your sons about sex, please do not use slang words or use hand motions, it will scar you kid for life.
Like I said my Pops is a great and funny guy and can take a joke most of the time( Que raised eyebrow), because when my brothers and sister get together with him he is usually at the butt end of our jokes. Why? because we love him.
So next week I haven't decided if I will move on to extended families as a whole because let me tell you, both sides have some great stories on their craziness, or if I should tell some good stories. See you then.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate Pt. II
If you are just joining us and are to lazy to go back and read the last blog, here is a brief explanation to catch you up. This post is a continuation of talking about the love and hate relationship that can be had within a family especially between brothers. Last week we dove into the world of my brother Matt who probably has a second life that we don't know about, because he never gives a straight answer. Just the other night, I was over there and asked him where he had been all day. The answer I got......"out". Ohhhh out! I thought you were hiding upstairs, so I proceeded to punch him in the gut for getting smart with me. See my belief is you can never be to old to beat on your brother to set him straight. I digress, let's go back to the comment I had about my brother Matt having a wife we don't know about. As much as we all thought he would be the one to do that, we had a curve ball, and was shocked by the news that it was my youngest brother Ruben Jr. who decided to pull that stunt. So lets meet Ruben.
The youngest of four, Ruben and I share 6 years between us. So growing up we really didn't have anything in common for we were both at different stages of life. However, as adults we have a lot in common and find ourselves hanging out a lot. You may be asking why did the youngest son get the Jr. name as opposed to the first born. All I have to say to that is, well, someone up there is looking out for me. Just kidding, Ruben is a great name........cough.......this is awkward.
So where were we? Ahh yes, so my brother Ruben. So, as a child my brother was probably one of the sweetest, nicest, and cutest kids you could ever meet. Then he hit 13 and we traded him in for a rude smelly teenager. Now, I don't know if I'm exaggerating a little because he was the only sibling I really got to see go through puberty without me going through it as well, but seriously the tude on that kid. However, there are some certain characteristics that he has that has been the same ever since he was a kid that makes his character in this life story funny.
Have you ever been watching a video or TV show and something happens that is really embarrassing for that person on the video? Well, my brother Ruben probably gets more embarrassed than the person that it is actually happening to. A good example would be the auditions of American Idol. He can not watch those episodes. He will sit in his chair with a pillow over his face and his ears, so he can have no part of this embarrassing act. It does it no justice to explain it, this is something you have to see for yourself. So I suggest if you're ever around him, play an embarrassing clip for him, sit back, and watch the fun.
Ruben, is also a Marine and served two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are very proud as a family that he did that. As a Marine, I am sure at war he saw some crazy stuff. So, I understand why he loves war movies which some of them can be pretty violent, but if any of those movies have a dog getting hurt, forget about it, he will not have any part of it. I am pretty sure if it came down to saving me or a random dog from getting hurt the dog would be typing this blog.
Over the last couple of years my brother and I have grown closer. While overseas he would tell me stuff he wouldn't tell our parents for the fact that they would get worried. I drove with him across the country, so that he didn't have to do it alone when he was going back to base. So, I would say we had a pretty open relationship....or so I thought. It was a Sunday night, I was at home with my son and wife, when I got a phone call from my Mother. She says to me in her excited voice, "You will never guess the news I have". I thought to myself, great mom found five bucks in her couch again. "Your brother Ruben is married, and has been married for the last year!". Now, don't get me wrong I love his wife, she is a great person, but seriously. So I proceeded to call my brother and my not so new sister-n-law and was like WTF(what the fudge, grandma). So after the initial shock, I was excited for them, but like I mentioned before I never saw this coming from Ruben. I can see Matt doing this but not my baby brother. On the bright side I get to hold this over him and his wife Erica for the rest of thier lives. It has supplied me with a fair share of zingers and free haircuts.
Stay tuned next week for the anticipated episode about the person who my brother Ruben was named after....dun dun dun!
The youngest of four, Ruben and I share 6 years between us. So growing up we really didn't have anything in common for we were both at different stages of life. However, as adults we have a lot in common and find ourselves hanging out a lot. You may be asking why did the youngest son get the Jr. name as opposed to the first born. All I have to say to that is, well, someone up there is looking out for me. Just kidding, Ruben is a great name........cough.......this is awkward.
So where were we? Ahh yes, so my brother Ruben. So, as a child my brother was probably one of the sweetest, nicest, and cutest kids you could ever meet. Then he hit 13 and we traded him in for a rude smelly teenager. Now, I don't know if I'm exaggerating a little because he was the only sibling I really got to see go through puberty without me going through it as well, but seriously the tude on that kid. However, there are some certain characteristics that he has that has been the same ever since he was a kid that makes his character in this life story funny.
Have you ever been watching a video or TV show and something happens that is really embarrassing for that person on the video? Well, my brother Ruben probably gets more embarrassed than the person that it is actually happening to. A good example would be the auditions of American Idol. He can not watch those episodes. He will sit in his chair with a pillow over his face and his ears, so he can have no part of this embarrassing act. It does it no justice to explain it, this is something you have to see for yourself. So I suggest if you're ever around him, play an embarrassing clip for him, sit back, and watch the fun.
Ruben, is also a Marine and served two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are very proud as a family that he did that. As a Marine, I am sure at war he saw some crazy stuff. So, I understand why he loves war movies which some of them can be pretty violent, but if any of those movies have a dog getting hurt, forget about it, he will not have any part of it. I am pretty sure if it came down to saving me or a random dog from getting hurt the dog would be typing this blog.
Over the last couple of years my brother and I have grown closer. While overseas he would tell me stuff he wouldn't tell our parents for the fact that they would get worried. I drove with him across the country, so that he didn't have to do it alone when he was going back to base. So, I would say we had a pretty open relationship....or so I thought. It was a Sunday night, I was at home with my son and wife, when I got a phone call from my Mother. She says to me in her excited voice, "You will never guess the news I have". I thought to myself, great mom found five bucks in her couch again. "Your brother Ruben is married, and has been married for the last year!". Now, don't get me wrong I love his wife, she is a great person, but seriously. So I proceeded to call my brother and my not so new sister-n-law and was like WTF(what the fudge, grandma). So after the initial shock, I was excited for them, but like I mentioned before I never saw this coming from Ruben. I can see Matt doing this but not my baby brother. On the bright side I get to hold this over him and his wife Erica for the rest of thier lives. It has supplied me with a fair share of zingers and free haircuts.
Stay tuned next week for the anticipated episode about the person who my brother Ruben was named after....dun dun dun!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate Pt. 1
Lets start this week with a couple of questions. Did you have siblings growing up? Were you close to your siblings when you were kids? Were you the younger brother/sister who was constantly finding ways to annoy your older sibling? Or were you the older sibling torturing your younger sibling because the believed whatever you said and your were stronger. There is a thin line between love and hate when it comes to your siblings during the early years of life. As we get older and more mature we become closer, well at least in my family.
This week we are going to dive into the characters of my two younger brothers. As I explained last week I am the oldest of 4 kids. The order after that is my brother Matt, my sister Amanda, and my youngest brother Ruben. Let us dive into the world of Matthew first, shall we?
My brother Matt, he is complicated soul or at least that is what he will have you believe. Being the second born of a family were all the kids are 2 years apart can be a tough role to play. He is a quite guy compared to the rest of us but he is actually very funny when he gets the chance to talk. Myself, I am very outgoing, I like to be the center of attention (because I deserve to be), and was involved a lot in church and school. Now, it can be tough for you younger siblings being in the shadow of your older sibling. So what did Matt do, welp, he just did the opposite of what I did. He went to a different church, did different activities, and made his own shadow, which is great! However, he had a knack for not sharing with the rest of the family what he was doing. Matt could be happily married and not have told us anything about it......oh wait wrong brother, but we will get to that soon!
So I don't have a video of Matt, but the story is just as funny. Like I said Matt would like to hide in his room for hours at a time and we wouldn't see him for a while. He would eat up there, listen to music, take 2 hour showers and we would be non the wiser. One day Matt was in his room and decided that he would like to have a relaxing atmosphere, so he wanted to light a candle. "Hmmm, we don't seem to have a scented candle, just this candle stick." Matt said to himself. Well this candle stick didn't have a candle holder. "Hmmm..I got it! I will just place this candle stick into this empty pop can and that should do the trick." Well it did the trick, however, Matt decided that he was going to go downstairs and watch some TV but leave the mood candle in its place. Meanwhile, I was in my room relaxing and begin to hear what I think is the crumpling of a plastic bag. Continuing my relaxing evening, I was beginning to wonder why my brother kept messing with the plastic bag. So I decided I would do my older brother duties and go punch him in the face and tell him to quit making so much noise. As I walk into his room I come to find out that this plastic bag noise that was irritating me was actually my brothers dresser UP IN FLAMES!! It is weird to think how the crackling of a fire sounds so much like a plastic bag.
I run down the stairs to my brother and sister watching TV and yell FIRE!!! I get a big bowl of water and run back up the stairs. Not doing a very good job of putting out the fire I go back and forth with the water until the flames have ceased. PHEW! All that was left was half of a char-broiled dresser with some whitey tighties that will no longer go to good use.
Not my brothers best judgment but later in life we will see him use good judgment and also not so good judgment like hiding in the closet with a scream mask only to put my younger brother in a state of shock "coma". As different from me as my brother Matt can be. He is definitely an original in our family, which is a nice balance in the sitcom that is my life.
I thought I would have enough time to write about my younger brother, but I guess that will have to wait till next week!
This week we are going to dive into the characters of my two younger brothers. As I explained last week I am the oldest of 4 kids. The order after that is my brother Matt, my sister Amanda, and my youngest brother Ruben. Let us dive into the world of Matthew first, shall we?
My brother Matt, he is complicated soul or at least that is what he will have you believe. Being the second born of a family were all the kids are 2 years apart can be a tough role to play. He is a quite guy compared to the rest of us but he is actually very funny when he gets the chance to talk. Myself, I am very outgoing, I like to be the center of attention (because I deserve to be), and was involved a lot in church and school. Now, it can be tough for you younger siblings being in the shadow of your older sibling. So what did Matt do, welp, he just did the opposite of what I did. He went to a different church, did different activities, and made his own shadow, which is great! However, he had a knack for not sharing with the rest of the family what he was doing. Matt could be happily married and not have told us anything about it......oh wait wrong brother, but we will get to that soon!
So I don't have a video of Matt, but the story is just as funny. Like I said Matt would like to hide in his room for hours at a time and we wouldn't see him for a while. He would eat up there, listen to music, take 2 hour showers and we would be non the wiser. One day Matt was in his room and decided that he would like to have a relaxing atmosphere, so he wanted to light a candle. "Hmmm, we don't seem to have a scented candle, just this candle stick." Matt said to himself. Well this candle stick didn't have a candle holder. "Hmmm..I got it! I will just place this candle stick into this empty pop can and that should do the trick." Well it did the trick, however, Matt decided that he was going to go downstairs and watch some TV but leave the mood candle in its place. Meanwhile, I was in my room relaxing and begin to hear what I think is the crumpling of a plastic bag. Continuing my relaxing evening, I was beginning to wonder why my brother kept messing with the plastic bag. So I decided I would do my older brother duties and go punch him in the face and tell him to quit making so much noise. As I walk into his room I come to find out that this plastic bag noise that was irritating me was actually my brothers dresser UP IN FLAMES!! It is weird to think how the crackling of a fire sounds so much like a plastic bag.
I run down the stairs to my brother and sister watching TV and yell FIRE!!! I get a big bowl of water and run back up the stairs. Not doing a very good job of putting out the fire I go back and forth with the water until the flames have ceased. PHEW! All that was left was half of a char-broiled dresser with some whitey tighties that will no longer go to good use.
Not my brothers best judgment but later in life we will see him use good judgment and also not so good judgment like hiding in the closet with a scream mask only to put my younger brother in a state of shock "coma". As different from me as my brother Matt can be. He is definitely an original in our family, which is a nice balance in the sitcom that is my life.
I thought I would have enough time to write about my younger brother, but I guess that will have to wait till next week!
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